The last couple of months seem to have been very little other than work and the odd pieces of DIY as more work has been done on the extension. Working from home has definite advantages, but one of the downsides is I’m not exercising enough. When I get up, I feel compelled to crack on with work, because it’s right there, so much so I don’t remember the last time I didn’t have breakfast at my desk – not even this morning – a Saturday. I then work late and have generally been too tired to take the dog for a walk, or my legs have been too wobbly to feel I can manage him. I’ve therefore been making an effort in the last few days to make sure I get up and take him when I get up. Apart from the first 5 or 10 minutes around the house getting ready when my legs aren’t great, I’ve been pretty much ok with him, so I think it’s my general tiredness towards the end of the end that makes my legs – and the pain – worse. Of course there is a downside to that, in that about 7am this morning he came round to my side of the bed as if to say “it’s time to go”. Even though I’d been awake since not long after 5, that is not the point, it’s still the weekend. I perhaps wouldn’t have minded so much if it hadn’t been for the fact that, until today I’ve been having to wake him up to take him. I guess he has managed to get in to a routine, today of all days!
I had a follow-up call with the clinical psychologist, Michelle, on Thursday, the first since our initial meeting just before lockdown. I mentioned the pain and increased problems that I have in the evening, and she said it’s not surprising. I’d watched a really good Ted Talk by Lorimer Moseley the evening before, and completely get what he is saying about the brain remembering events and triggering reactions based on what it learnt from past experience, but I couldn’t understand why I can have had a fairly average day pain-wise, and then in the evening suddenly get really bad attacks without doing anything – and when I say not doing anything, I mean I can have been sat perfectly still for several minutes when an attack happens. Michelle said it’s the brain having time to catch up on things it has suppressed during the day when so much other stuff is happening. She made the analogy of crossing a road and a car suddenly coming, and as you cross you tread on something sharp. You won’t realise the pain from what you stood on at the time, but once you’ve crossed and the immediate danger of the car has gone, you then feel the pain in your foot. Your brain has prioritised the danger of the car over dealing with the pain until the danger has gone. So the pain I am probably experiencing during the day is being suppressed because I’m too busy all the time, but then when I have time to relax, it all starts coming out. I was looking forward to having a week off later in July, but having read that back to myself, maybe I need to keep working as a form of pain relief! 😏 On second thoughts, I’ll put up with the pain if it means I can have a long-overdue week off! 😀