Yesterday hadn’t started particularly well as my legs had been very restless overnight, disturbing my sleep. As is typical when that’s happened, the pain was a lot worse – or perhaps I wasn’t able to cope – either way I felt like crap, and being late for work and having to join my first meeting from the car as Ruth drove me in didn’t help me feel any better.
Things started to ease a little and I thought I might be ok, but that was short-lived, and the rest of the day was quite a struggle.
In the afternoon I got a call back from the company who have organised my will. I’d rather belatedly remembered I need to redo it as my previous one became nullified when Ruth and I got married, and whilst I’m not expecting the worst, I want to be comfortable arrangements are in place. They are making a simple adjustment for now with the aim of getting it done by next week, but have advised it can take 28 days to get it all signed off.
I was supposed to go out for a leaving do last night but by mid-afternoon realised I’d not be up to it. Instead of going out for a few beers and a nice meal, I took the opportunity to talk to Ruth about my wishes should the outcome of the surgery not be good. This turned out to be an even tougher experience than I’d predicted. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, and was obviously very aware of how Ruth might take it, having lost her parents so young, and also losing 4 siblings during her life. However it hit us both pretty badly.
I’m feeling really positive about the surgery, and I’m sure the ease with which I’m able to discuss it with people who ask, without giving me any sense of anxiousness, shows how comfortable I am. As I said to Ruth, you never know when you might get hit by a bus, so we should have plans in place. I see it that I’m walking more along the edge of the pavement and thus slightly increasing the odds of a bus hitting me! In the potential absence of a legal will, Ruth suggested I write out my wishes, such that she could share it with the family should it be necessary. It was hard to write, but was absolutely the right thing to do.